Episode Area 51 1/2

Binge Episode One: Area 511/2
Written and Drawn by Eric T. Styles
Edited by John Tuttle

Copyright © 2005 All Rights Reserved.
Artwork and story by E. Styles can not be duplicated without expressed permission of the artist. Graphics are property of Bedsoar.com and can not be used without permission.

March 2007 's Sponsor

Page1

Scene: Art Gallery
Binge setting up at a gallery opening.
Gallery owner is a woman in her mid 40’s.

Gally Owner
This should’ve been done by now...

Binge
It is your gallery, do you plan on helping anytime soon?
Granted you provided the walls, but I had to bring my
own friggin nails.

Gallery Owner
Hey! I’ve been tasting wine all week to find the perfect one
for YOUR opening! You never appreciate what I do for you.

Binge
(points to glass) This is the same crap you serve at all
of your openings.In fact it’s the same nasty stuff you
always have in your refrigerator that no one but you
seems to like. It tastes like a grape took a piss.
Thunderbird drinkers won’t even touch it.

Gallery Owner
But I ruled out ten other brands this week.

Binge
Thanks for going on a bender to further my career.
I know you use these art openings as a way to
write off wine as a business expense. I got a call
from the IRS asking if I really had 4,000 people at
my last opening. Then they asked me why I only
claimed a $250 profit from that show.

Gallery Owner
You better sell some art this time, none of this
“My trampy girlfriend wants a couple for free” crap!

Binge
Hey! She’s “MISS Trampy” to you. Don’t hate her
because she’s beautiful, there’s lot’s of other good
reasons to. Besides, she won’t be at this one, she’s
teaching a seminar in Washington D.C.

Gallery Owner
She’s teaching? In Washington? D.C.? I doubt she
could SPELL D-C. Do you believe everything she
tells you?

Binge
Why shouldn’t I?

Gallery Owner
She’s a professional Dominanitrix, she sexually
abuses and humiliates men for money.

Binge
That doesn’t make her a liar.

Gallery Owner
What would she be teaching in Washington D.C.?

Scene: Art Gallery Exterior
Lance and Jody peering in window
cautiously before entering, Binge rushes
up behind them, stops.

Binge
Hey thanks for coming by, how was Amsterdam?

Jody
If we ever remember anything again, we’ll tell
you all about it. We brought you back some souvenirs...

Lance
I hope we did, I don’t remember packing them.

Gallery Owner
(off screen) BINGE! Get in here now!

Binge
(holds up fire extinguisher) Gotta go!

Binge rushes in, Lance and Jody
look at each other and hesitantly enter

Scene: Art Gallery Interior
Lance and Jody enter,
thin smoke hovers near ceiling

Binge
(speaking to gallery owner offscreen)
It’s no biggy, we’ll mark that piece half price.
(turns to Lance and Jody)
Not many artists work with the medium of spontaneous combustion.

Jody
So, where’s Sally Silicone? Tied up at work?

Binge
I told you, she’s never the one who gets tied up at work.
She’s teaching a seminar in Washington D.C.

Jody
She’s teaching? In Washington? D.C.?

Binge
It’s true, I drove her to the airport. Carried her luggage,
made the reservations and put it all on my credit cards.

Jody
Binge, women have almost an infrared vision, right now
I can see SUCKER written all over you. Stop letting your
smallest head make all of your decisions.

Lance
I don’t know, mine always votes by proxy.

Jody
This could be the end of democracy as we know it.

Lance
Or at least a few political careers.

Gallery Owner
(off screen) BINGE! CUT THE CHEESE!

Jody
Why would anyone EVER say that to him?

Scene: Art Gallery
Binge rolls and cracks his neck
from previous Athena injury
SFX: Crunching knuckle popping sound

Binge
I kind of miss her, I wish she was here.

Lance
Really? You miss filling her wine glass every twelve
and a half minutes? It is that on average. We timed
her at your last opening. A refill every twelve minutes.

Jody
Also over the course of an hour you lit 17 cigarettes
for her. Why do you think we gave you the nickname
the human torch? Everytime she put an unlit cigarette
in her mouth, your thumb caught on fire. FLAME ON!

Lance
Why don’t you go over and talk to that woman over there.

Jody
Good idea. she seems sweet, non psychotic. No felony
convictions and less lovers than the population of Argentinia.

Binge
I dunno, can she take away my will to live like Athena?

Lance
You’ll never know unless you give her a chance

Jody
Why don’t you find a new girl of your dreams nightmare.

Scene: Art Gallery
Binge walks over to a girl
looking at his art. He whispers
to her, she turns and REAL LOUD

Art girl
But I don’t own a Hummer! Even if I did how could
I drive it in the bathroom to give it to you? Who are
you anyway?

Binge looks over at Lance
and Jody. Realizes they caught
everything. Walks over

Binge
So, how do you think my opening is going?

Jody
Better than your opening lines.
Literate crowd, great art, rancid wine....

Lance
No exploding toilets or cat-fights like the
last opening you had.

Binge
It’s still early yet. I sold three pieces so far...
(looking towards door)

Jody
Houston, we have a drama.

Binge
Awwwwww Man! What is she doing here?

Lance
You placed ad in a newspaper in the same town
as your stalker.

Jody
Very stealth. I hope it’s not really true about you being
in the witness protection program. If so, we’ll be standing
across the room.

Binge
She’s stalking me. Everytime I catch her, she claims
that she was there first. It’s like someone stuffed a
bar rag up my ass.

Scene: Pentagon, Washington

Athena walking down a high tech looking
corridor, business suite, hair up, briefcase, very
professional looking, but still sexy.

She enters a steel walled room, long conference table,
numerous suited and uniformed men seated
at the table.

Athena
Good afternoon gentlemen...

All eyes are fixed on her with lust
She purposely leans forward to
hand out business cards, as she
does, all of the heads lower in
synchronization to her movement.

Tables POV of Athena’s face.
Her eyes look up, and she smiles
to herself.

She clicks a remote, large screen behind
her flashes on:
Department of Defense:
The interrogation of prisoners
Dr. A. DeCruel of Decruel Consulting

Scene: Pentagon

Athena
...so as the interrogator establishes themselves
as the mother figure, questioning can then proceed.
I have a few photos from my work I wish to show you,
however they are a bit graphic in nature...

General Admission
(chuckles) Dr.DeCruel, we are all military officers and
intell agents with years of combat and covert
service, I don’t think your bedroom photos will shock us.

Athena clicks remote, everyone at the
table gasps, looks of terror on their faces
one leans over and vomits, others hide
their eyes, one passes out.

General Admission
Great god in heaven, Who was that? What did he do?

Athena
That’s my almost boyfriend Binge, that’s the night he
he called me a bitch. He never called me that again.

General Admission
He survived that?

Scene: Pentagon, Washington
Athena walking down a high tech looking
corridor, General Admission walks up.

General Admission
Dr. DeCruel...

Athena
Athena, please

General Admission
Athena, very informative talk. I have always been somewhat
intrigued by the background that you come from. I may be able to recommend you for a Defense Department contract as an “intelligence advisor” It would be very lucrative, and be drawn from our Black Ops budget. Not even Congress would find out.

Athena
I’m staying at the Watergate, room 1204. Come by tonight and we could whip out some details.

General Admission
Sevenish?

Athena steps forward,
steps on the General's toe.

Athena
No, promptly at seven. Not a minute later.

General Admission
Yes ma'am. (smiles)

Stalker Chick standing in doorway
Sloppily dressed and appears to
be about nine months pregnant.
She sees Binge and walks up to him

Stalker Chick
So! How are you going to explain this one!.

Binge
You're at MY opening and YOUR medication wore off?

Stalker Chick
Typical stalker mentality, why don’t you just be a
man and admit you're obsessed with me!

Binge
I AM not obsessed with you!

Stalker Chick
DENIAL!

Binge
It is NOT!

Stalker Chick
More DENIAL!

Binge
Ok, look, just suck down some free wine, scoff some
cheese and leave before I call the cops with the long
sleeve jackets.

Stalker Chick
Why should I leave, you're the one with a sick preoccupation with ME! If you call the cops I’ll tell them you threatened me and they should search you for a weapon.

Binge looks down to his torso,
cut-away of his pockets reveal
baggies, paraphernalia and pill
bottles..

Binge
Ok, stay. Just don’t you dare enjoy yourself.

Next Page

Binge Episode One: Area 511/2 Written and Drawn by Eric T. Styles Edited by John Tuttle Copyright © 2005 All Rights Reserved. Artwork and story by E. Styles can not be duplicated without expressed permission of the artist. Graphics are property of Bedsoar.com and can not be used without permission. March 2007 's Sponsor Page1
Scene: Art Gallery Binge setting up at a gallery opening. Gallery owner is a woman in her mid 40’s. Gally Owner This should’ve been done by now... Binge It is your gallery, do you plan on helping anytime soon? Granted you provided the walls, but I had to bring my own friggin nails. Gallery Owner Hey! I’ve been tasting wine all week to find the perfect one for YOUR opening! You never appreciate what I do for you. Binge (points to glass) This is the same crap you serve at all of your openings.In fact it’s the same nasty stuff you always have in your refrigerator that no one but you seems to like. It tastes like a grape took a piss. Thunderbird drinkers won’t even touch it. Gallery Owner But I ruled out ten other brands this week. Binge Thanks for going on a bender to further my career. I know you use these art openings as a way to write off wine as a business expense. I got a call from the IRS asking if I really had 4,000 people at my last opening. Then they asked me why I only claimed a $250 profit from that show. Gallery Owner You better sell some art this time, none of this “My trampy girlfriend wants a couple for free” crap! Binge Hey! She’s “MISS Trampy” to you. Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful, there’s lot’s of other good reasons to. Besides, she won’t be at this one, she’s teaching a seminar in Washington D.C. Gallery Owner She’s teaching? In Washington? D.C.? I doubt she could SPELL D-C. Do you believe everything she tells you? Binge Why shouldn’t I? Gallery Owner She’s a professional Dominanitrix, she sexually abuses and humiliates men for money. Binge That doesn’t make her a liar. Gallery Owner What would she be teaching in Washington D.C.? Scene: Art Gallery Exterior Lance and Jody peering in window cautiously before entering, Binge rushes up behind them, stops. Binge Hey thanks for coming by, how was Amsterdam? Jody If we ever remember anything again, we’ll tell you all about it. We brought you back some souvenirs... Lance I hope we did, I don’t remember packing them. Gallery Owner (off screen) BINGE! Get in here now! Binge (holds up fire extinguisher) Gotta go! Binge rushes in, Lance and Jody look at each other and hesitantly enter Scene: Art Gallery Interior Lance and Jody enter, thin smoke hovers near ceiling Binge (speaking to gallery owner offscreen) It’s no biggy, we’ll mark that piece half price. (turns to Lance and Jody) Not many artists work with the medium of spontaneous combustion. Jody So, where’s Sally Silicone? Tied up at work? Binge I told you, she’s never the one who gets tied up at work. She’s teaching a seminar in Washington D.C. Jody She’s teaching? In Washington? D.C.? Binge It’s true, I drove her to the airport. Carried her luggage, made the reservations and put it all on my credit cards. Jody Binge, women have almost an infrared vision, right now I can see SUCKER written all over you. Stop letting your smallest head make all of your decisions. Lance I don’t know, mine always votes by proxy. Jody This could be the end of democracy as we know it. Lance Or at least a few political careers. Gallery Owner (off screen) BINGE! CUT THE CHEESE! Jody Why would anyone EVER say that to him? Scene: Art Gallery Binge rolls and cracks his neck from previous Athena injury SFX: Crunching knuckle popping sound Binge I kind of miss her, I wish she was here. Lance Really? You miss filling her wine glass every twelve and a half minutes? It is that on average. We timed her at your last opening. A refill every twelve minutes. Jody Also over the course of an hour you lit 17 cigarettes for her. Why do you think we gave you the nickname the human torch? Everytime she put an unlit cigarette in her mouth, your thumb caught on fire. FLAME ON! Lance Why don’t you go over and talk to that woman over there. Jody Good idea. she seems sweet, non psychotic. No felony convictions and less lovers than the population of Argentinia. Binge I dunno, can she take away my will to live like Athena? Lance You’ll never know unless you give her a chance Jody Why don’t you find a new girl of your dreams nightmare. Scene: Art Gallery Binge walks over to a girl looking at his art. He whispers to her, she turns and REAL LOUD Art girl But I don’t own a Hummer! Even if I did how could I drive it in the bathroom to give it to you? Who are you anyway? Binge looks over at Lance and Jody. Realizes they caught everything. Walks over Binge So, how do you think my opening is going? Jody Better than your opening lines. Literate crowd, great art, rancid wine.... Lance No exploding toilets or cat-fights like the last opening you had. Binge It’s still early yet. I sold three pieces so far... (looking towards door) Jody Houston, we have a drama. Binge Awwwwww Man! What is she doing here? Lance You placed ad in a newspaper in the same town as your stalker. Jody Very stealth. I hope it’s not really true about you being in the witness protection program. If so, we’ll be standing across the room. Binge She’s stalking me. Everytime I catch her, she claims that she was there first. It’s like someone stuffed a bar rag up my ass.		Scene: Pentagon, Washington Athena walking down a high tech looking corridor, business suite, hair up, briefcase, very professional looking, but still sexy. She enters a steel walled room, long conference table, numerous suited and uniformed men seated at the table. Athena Good afternoon gentlemen... All eyes are fixed on her with lust She purposely leans forward to hand out business cards, as she does, all of the heads lower in synchronization to her movement. Tables POV of Athena’s face. Her eyes look up, and she smiles to herself. She clicks a remote, large screen behind her flashes on: Department of Defense: The interrogation of prisoners Dr. A. DeCruel of Decruel Consulting Scene: Pentagon Athena ...so as the interrogator establishes themselves as the mother figure, questioning can then proceed. I have a few photos from my work I wish to show you, however they are a bit graphic in nature... General Admission (chuckles) Dr.DeCruel, we are all military officers and intell agents with years of combat and covert service, I don’t think your bedroom photos will shock us. Athena clicks remote, everyone at the table gasps, looks of terror on their faces one leans over and vomits, others hide their eyes, one passes out. General Admission Great god in heaven, Who was that? What did he do? Athena That’s my almost boyfriend Binge, that’s the night he he called me a bitch. He never called me that again. General Admission He survived that? Scene: Pentagon, Washington Athena walking down a high tech looking corridor, General Admission walks up. General Admission Dr. DeCruel... Athena Athena, please General Admission Athena, very informative talk. I have always been somewhat intrigued by the background that you come from. I may be able to recommend you for a Defense Department contract as an “intelligence advisor” It would be very lucrative, and be drawn from our Black Ops budget. Not even Congress would find out. Athena I’m staying at the Watergate, room 1204. Come by tonight and we could whip out some details. General Admission Sevenish? Athena steps forward, steps on the General's toe. Athena No, promptly at seven. Not a minute later. General Admission Yes ma'am. (smiles) Stalker Chick standing in doorway Sloppily dressed and appears to be about nine months pregnant. She sees Binge and walks up to him Stalker Chick So! How are you going to explain this one!. Binge You're at MY opening and YOUR medication wore off? Stalker Chick Typical stalker mentality, why don’t you just be a man and admit you're obsessed with me! Binge I AM not obsessed with you! Stalker Chick DENIAL! Binge It is NOT! Stalker Chick More DENIAL! Binge Ok, look, just suck down some free wine, scoff some cheese and leave before I call the cops with the long sleeve jackets. Stalker Chick Why should I leave, you're the one with a sick preoccupation with ME! If you call the cops I’ll tell them you threatened me and they should search you for a weapon. Binge looks down to his torso, cut-away of his pockets reveal baggies, paraphernalia and pill bottles.. Binge Ok, stay. Just don’t you dare enjoy yourself. Next Page