Episode Area 51 1/2 Page 3

Scene: Hillbilly Projects Trailer park
Interior of trailer, Stalker Chick and
her female drinking companion at
kitchen table smoking and drinking
wine from beer mugs

Stalker Chick
Binge is so in love with me, he just can’t let go.

Sugar
He said that?

Stalker Chick
He doesn’t have to. His indifference and apathy
says it all. He is nothing without me and he knows
it. I remind of that fact by slashing his tires.

Sugar leans foward to counter with empty mug,
goes to fill glass.

Sugar
oooooh, we need another box of wine!

Stalker Chick
I have three more under the trailer in the wine cellar.

Sugar leans foward farther and falls
to the kitchen floor.

Sugar
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'm stuck to your floor!

Stalker Chick
What a change, usually you're stuck to the backseat of a car.

On the bus, Binge is standing
in front of the isle. Bob keeps
looking back with a sour face

Binge
Despite the overwelming mass and momentium
of this vehicle, could you stop it up on twelfth?

Buffet Bob
GET BEHIND THE WHITE LINE!

Binge
Move your fat ass and maybe I could see
the white line.

Look of rage covers Bob’s
face. He slams on the brakes.

Binge flies forward into windshield,
collapses down stepwell.

Bob opens door, Binge tumbles out
onto ground. As he jumps up
and lunges for Bob, the door
closes in his face, and the bus
pulls away.

A billboard advertising
the Blue SnapperGentleman’s
Club on the side of the bus as it rolls
past. Binge sees a picture of Athena
on the sign, punches at it, but misses

He is left in a cloud of exhaust.

Binge walks into Little Luigi’s Pizza
Goes to counter and appears to be
talking to statue of pizza guy in a
chef’s hat holding a pie on the counter.

Binge
Hey Luie.

Luigi
Heya Bingea.

Binge
Two slices and a coke.

Binge sits in a booth, Luigi stands
up from behind counter, about 5’2” tall

Luigi
Bingea, let mea aska ya somefin.

Binge
No I won’t marry you to make you a leagal citizen.

Luigi
huh? uh no, noooo. Whoa hasa da best pizza in da world?

Binge
I dunno, I haven’t tried all of the pizza joints in the world yet.

Luigi
You knowa.

Binge
Lou, there has to be five thousand pizza joints in
Jersey alone. Pizza and pharmosuticals are our
leading industries. The only thing that out numbers
pizza joints is bad drivers.

Luigi is taking slices out of oven

Luigi
Rocco’s Pizza hasa a sign that says is is da besta.

Binge
Well, there’s the answer for you. A guy named “Rocco” would never lie to increase profits. His grandfather invented the Italian Ice. One August day in Jersey City, he bet someone that it was so hot, he could wiz on ice and sell it to some sweating stupido.

Luigi walks over to the booth with
slices on a plate

Luigi
NO! you know I hava da besta pizza.

Binge
Why are Italians so obsessed with thier food?
I mean, could any of you guys cook me something
without tomato, garlic or pasta? Italians slop sauce
and cheese on everything and say “HEYA LOOKA ATA
WHATA WE INVENTEDA. Besides, Rocco’s crust is
better than yours.

Luigi spits on Binge’s slices,
drops it on the table in front
of him.

Luigi
Here’sa your friggin slices, extra garlic.

Binge blots spit off of pizza
with a paper napkin

Next Page


Scene: Athena’s Condo dungeon Athena’s upscale townhouse has one room she uses as her work dungeon. Inside of it she is dressed in sweatpants and tee-shirt. She is sipping a glass of ice water as she speaks to someone offscreen. The dungeon itself is the stereotypical goth looking, medevial dugeon. Athena (in a soft voice) This is a first for me. It’s been years since I could say that. She strolls over to a “grey alien” bound to an “X” like cross against the wall. He appears emotionless. Athena Kind of a new meaning to Alien Abduction, huh? She steps closer Athena The general told me a lot of little secrets last night. I asked if you guys have any weaknesses. He mentioned only one. She sips water, reaches into the glass for an ice cube, holds it up Athena Ice. It causes intense pain, but no physical harm Alien’s head turns toward ice cube. She holds it against his chest, he lets out an unearthly scream. Athena smiles. Athena Oh, this is going to be just too much fun. Athena’s dungeon Athena Ok Spock, now for our question and answer segment. She twists ice cube tray into bucket Athena Let’s start with, who are you, and where do you ugly little bastards come from. Exterior of Condos, screams are heard.	Scene: Hillbilly Projects Trailer park Interior of trailer, Stalker Chick and her female drinking companion at kitchen table smoking and drinking wine from beer mugs Stalker Chick Binge is so in love with me, he just can’t let go. Sugar He said that? Stalker Chick He doesn’t have to. His indifference and apathy says it all. He is nothing without me and he knows it. I remind of that fact by slashing his tires. Sugar leans foward to counter with empty mug, goes to fill glass. Sugar oooooh, we need another box of wine! Stalker Chick I have three more under the trailer in the wine cellar. Sugar leans foward farther and falls to the kitchen floor. Sugar EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'm stuck to your floor! Stalker Chick What a change, usually you're stuck to the backseat of a car. On the bus, Binge is standing in front of the isle. Bob keeps looking back with a sour face Binge Despite the overwelming mass and momentium of this vehicle, could you stop it up on twelfth? Buffet Bob GET BEHIND THE WHITE LINE! Binge Move your fat ass and maybe I could see the white line. Look of rage covers Bob’s face. He slams on the brakes. Binge flies forward into windshield, collapses down stepwell. Bob opens door, Binge tumbles out onto ground. As he jumps up and lunges for Bob, the door closes in his face, and the bus pulls away. A billboard advertising the Blue SnapperGentleman’s Club on the side of the bus as it rolls past. Binge sees a picture of Athena on the sign, punches at it, but misses He is left in a cloud of exhaust. Binge walks into Little Luigi’s Pizza Goes to counter and appears to be talking to statue of pizza guy in a chef’s hat holding a pie on the counter. Binge Hey Luie. Luigi Heya Bingea. Binge Two slices and a coke. Binge sits in a booth, Luigi stands up from behind counter, about 5’2” tall Luigi Bingea, let mea aska ya somefin. Binge No I won’t marry you to make you a leagal citizen. Luigi huh? uh no, noooo. Whoa hasa da best pizza in da world? Binge I dunno, I haven’t tried all of the pizza joints in the world yet. Luigi You knowa. Binge Lou, there has to be five thousand pizza joints in Jersey alone. Pizza and pharmosuticals are our leading industries. The only thing that out numbers pizza joints is bad drivers. Luigi is taking slices out of oven Luigi Rocco’s Pizza hasa a sign that says is is da besta. Binge Well, there’s the answer for you. A guy named “Rocco” would never lie to increase profits. His grandfather invented the Italian Ice. One August day in Jersey City, he bet someone that it was so hot, he could wiz on ice and sell it to some sweating stupido. Luigi walks over to the booth with slices on a plate Luigi NO! you know I hava da besta pizza. Binge Why are Italians so obsessed with thier food? I mean, could any of you guys cook me something without tomato, garlic or pasta? Italians slop sauce and cheese on everything and say “HEYA LOOKA ATA WHATA WE INVENTEDA. Besides, Rocco’s crust is better than yours. Luigi spits on Binge’s slices, drops it on the table in front of him. Luigi Here’sa your friggin slices, extra garlic. Binge blots spit off of pizza with a paper napkin Next Page