Hell In A Bucket page 2

All three walk down the hall.
Inside of dungeon room, they
stare at the larger vortex.

Stalker Chick
I will use the powers of gems and Aroma-exorcism.

Binge looks into the shoebox.

Binge
It’s gravel.

Stalker Chick
FOOL! They are powerful energy stones!

Binge
It’s gravel from the parking lot of Kelly’s Tavern. I should know. I’ve been face down in it enough times. Look, there's a cigarette butt...

Athena
Binge! Let her do her job!

Stalker chick lights a
bundle of incense.
She waves it back
and forth.

Binge
Great! More obnoxious smoke.

Athena
Binge... Don’t make me get out the testicle vise!

Dungeon:

Stalker Chick
(to Athena) These sort of events usually only occur in areas of negative psychic energy. Has anything negative taken place in this room?

Athena is standing in front
of a wall covered with
medieval looking devices of
torture.

Athena
No, not really. I just use this room for work.

Stalker Chick
Let me try this....

Stalker chick tosses a stone
into vortex.

Dungeon room:
All three are staring at the
vortex.

Athena
I’ll be right back Let me get out of my work clothes.

Athena leaves, Stalker Chick
bends down near vortex. Binge
checks out her butt, cringes.
Binge looks away, stares at
wall. Hanging on wall are flogs,
paddles, etc. He picks up a
cricket bat sized paddle. With
his back turned to Stalker chick,
he starts to lightly swing paddle
in cricket stance. He winds back
fast, hitting Stalker chick in the ass.
Binge turns in time to see her
falling head first into vortex. It
flashes and lets out a low rumble.

Binge
Oooph!

Look of panic mixed with laughter
covers Binge’s face. He looks about
in panic.

Binge
That sucked.

Athena walks back in.

Athena
Where is she?

Binge
She said something about going home for lunch or something....

Suddenly the vortex glows,
a loud belching sound, followed
by the stalker chick being tossed
back out. She lands on floor, dazed,
catatonic, clothes smoldering.

Binge
I knew Hell would spit you back.

Stalker Chick
That’s .....not....funny. I need wine.

Stalker chick gets up, staggers
out. Front door is heard closing.

Athena
Nice going. Now you better get rid of it, or your life will become a living Hell.

Athena leaves.

Binge
Ironically, I thought about jumping into Hell just to get away from you.

Dungeon room: Binge
pours box of gravel into vortex.

Dungeon room:
Athena enters.

Athena
Any other ideas?

Binge
I know you must have some duct tape around here...

Binge starts to look around.
Doorbell rings.

Athena

Answer the door.

Athena’s living room:
SFX Doorbell
Binge walks across.

Athena
(off screen)
If it’s a client, tell him I’m taking today off.

Binge
(under breath)
If it’s a client, his kinky ass is going in the hole next. Slam dunk sissy-boy to Hell....


Scene: Hell Satan is polishing his tricked out red Saturn. Scene: Hell Satan is polishing roof of Saturn when the stone bounces off of the windshield. SFX: Bink Satan OH MAN! Scene: Hell Satan is writing out a check to a windshield repairman. Blue tape is around the windshield of the Saturn. A toy poodle runs by. Scene: Hell Satan hands check to window guy. Saturn in the background gets pelted with dozens of stones All glass breaks, dents metal. Athena’s living room. Binge answers the door. Jem, the convenience store Clerk, is standing there with several bags. Jem BINGE! Hallo buddy! Binge Hey Jem, I didn’t know you guys delivered Jem Only to Miss Athena...Here you go. Jem hands bags to Binge. Binge looks inside and pulls out a box of condoms. Binge Must be a mistake, these are extra large. Jem No, no mistake. Same ting every week... Opps. Sorry... Binge Don't worry about it, I’ll pretend I didn’t see it. Just throw it on the mountain of overwhelming evidence with the rest. Athena (off screen) Is that Jem? Bring him in to see the hole. Maybe he has some ideas about the hole. Jem OH NO! No, no, no... I am not into the freaky scene like you two. Binge No, it’s not like that. What did you do back in your country of origin? Jem I was a radio astronomer with a degree in astrophysics. Binge That might help, can you look at something for us? Jem Ok, as long as it’s not too freaky. Binge Wait a minute.... if your'e all that, what hell are you doing in New Jersey running the Sunup store? Jem My village already had thre astronomers. I prefer this, I get the day shift. Astronomers have to always work night shift. Binge leads Jem down hall. Close up of Jem’s face. A look of awe and fear. Jem Holy DUNG! Ok, this is too freaky. Binge What do you think it is? Jem Not good. Binge Watch. Binge tosses a roll of toilet paper toward the vortex, it gets sucked in. Jem I’m out of here. Binge Awww, come on man, help us out here! Jem You date Leather Girl. You deal with it. Jem leaves in a hurry. Next Page	All three walk down the hall. Inside of dungeon room, they stare at the larger vortex. Stalker Chick I will use the powers of gems and Aroma-exorcism. Binge looks into the shoebox. Binge It’s gravel. Stalker Chick FOOL! They are powerful energy stones! Binge It’s gravel from the parking lot of Kelly’s Tavern. I should know. I’ve been face down in it enough times. Look, there's a cigarette butt... Athena Binge! Let her do her job! Stalker chick lights a bundle of incense. She waves it back and forth. Binge Great! More obnoxious smoke. Athena Binge... Don’t make me get out the testicle vise! Dungeon: Stalker Chick (to Athena) These sort of events usually only occur in areas of negative psychic energy. Has anything negative taken place in this room? Athena is standing in front of a wall covered with medieval looking devices of torture. Athena No, not really. I just use this room for work. Stalker Chick Let me try this.... Stalker chick tosses a stone into vortex. Dungeon room: All three are staring at the vortex. Athena I’ll be right back Let me get out of my work clothes. Athena leaves, Stalker Chick bends down near vortex. Binge checks out her butt, cringes. Binge looks away, stares at wall. Hanging on wall are flogs, paddles, etc. He picks up a cricket bat sized paddle. With his back turned to Stalker chick, he starts to lightly swing paddle in cricket stance. He winds back fast, hitting Stalker chick in the ass. Binge turns in time to see her falling head first into vortex. It flashes and lets out a low rumble. Binge Oooph! Look of panic mixed with laughter covers Binge’s face. He looks about in panic. Binge That sucked. Athena walks back in. Athena Where is she? Binge She said something about going home for lunch or something.... Suddenly the vortex glows, a loud belching sound, followed by the stalker chick being tossed back out. She lands on floor, dazed, catatonic, clothes smoldering. Binge I knew Hell would spit you back. Stalker Chick That’s .....not....funny. I need wine. Stalker chick gets up, staggers out. Front door is heard closing. Athena Nice going. Now you better get rid of it, or your life will become a living Hell. Athena leaves. Binge Ironically, I thought about jumping into Hell just to get away from you. Dungeon room: Binge pours box of gravel into vortex. Dungeon room: Athena enters. Athena Any other ideas? Binge I know you must have some duct tape around here... Binge starts to look around. Doorbell rings. Athena Answer the door. Athena’s living room: SFX Doorbell Binge walks across. Athena (off screen) If it’s a client, tell him I’m taking today off. Binge (under breath) If it’s a client, his kinky ass is going in the hole next. Slam dunk sissy-boy to Hell....