BiNGE by Eric T Styles Famous When Dead

Binge driving a drunk Athena home
in her white Mercedes. Artwork fills the back seat.

Athena
Why does that frump hate me so? I never slept with her man. She keeps it up and I’ll bang every man in her life. What is her problem?

Binge shakes his head.

Binge
She insists you're the Anti-Christ.

Athena
DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT MY SIXES?!?

Binge
Everyone could see them with that dress you have on.

Athena
It’s none of her business if you give me artwork, is it? You don’t mind giving me art do you?

Binge
You do have the largest private collection of Binge art. In your living room, bedroom, kitchen, dungeon.

Athena
What? Don’t you want me to have it?

Binge
That’s not what I said.

Athena
YES IT IS! You just said you hate me!
(long drawn out wail) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Binge pulls the car over.

Binge
No baby, no. I love you. That’s why I give you my art. It’s from the deepest bowels of my heart.

Athena
Prove it.

Binge
How?

Athena
Give me another one.

Binge
As much as you want.

Athena
I don't care what the frump thinks! All women hate me, it's not my fault I'm so hot! That's why date so many men, I'm lonely! They all think they're better than me just because their jobs don't involve nudity! I'd love to go the mall with someone and shop for something besides lingerie. Or have lunch with someone who isn't too who isn't thinking about screwing me afterwards.

Binge
She needs to get to know you better. Maybe I can set up a trip to the mall.

Scene: Athena’s kitchen. She is talking
to the Gimp. His head is sticking out of
a cupboard door.

Athena
Gimp! Go on that internet thingy and find art appraisers in New Jersey.

Gimp
You didn’t even notice that I did the floors.

Athena
Yes, yes. Very nice. Do what I told you.

Gimp
What are you planning?

Athena
‘Artist’s nude body found in NY harbor’

Gimp
You do love the arts.

SFX: Doorbell.

Binge enters with rolled up maps
under his arms.

Binge
Here are those tidal charts of New York Harbor you wanted.
Can I ask why?

Athena
I may be buying a yacht. I'll be getting some cash together soon.

Binge
Cool... Hey Gimp.

Gimp
Good bye Binge.

Athena points her finger at
Gimp. She stearnly whispers:

Athena
Gimp, you keep your mouth zipped about my plans.

Gimp pulls the zipper closed
on his hood, nods. He slips back
into the cupboard, door closes.

Athena
Binge, I think it’s time we discussed our relationship.

A look of fear comes over Binge.
He collapses on the floor and starts
to thrash about in a spastic tantrum.

Binge
NO! NO! NO! These conversations are never good!

Athena
(calmly) Get up. I don’t cater to ‘infantilism’. Save that for the Jerry Springer Show.

Binge totally regains himself. Sits up on the floor.

Binge
Sorry. What do you want to talk about?

Athena
I think we should take our relationship to the next level.

Binge
Monogamy?

Athena bursts into laughter.

Athena
For you maybe. No, I need to improve the trust issues that plague our love.

Binge
How?

Athena
I want you to put me in your will.

Binge’s eyes dart side to side,
trying to see her logic.

Binge
I have a will. I was going to leave my meager earthly possessions to my niece.

Athena
Children should be taught that there are no free rides in this world. That’s why you should leave it all to me.

Binge
I guess I follow that. Is there some sort of give and take
here?

Athena
OH! What’s in it for you? Typical. Always thinking about yourself. Uhmmmm, I promise I’ll dress real hot for your funeral and weep uncontrollably.

Binge
Promise you won’t bring a date?

Athena huffs.

Athena
You are so controlling. I promise I won’t bring a man as a date.

Binge
Cool!

NEXT PAGE


Cut to a screen shot of a role play video game. Grand Theft Auto parody. A street walker in strutting down a sidewalk, a character looking like Jody pops out with a flame thrower. Torches the streetwalker, who runs off screaming, collapses and burns. Cut to Lance sitting down next to Jody on the couch with a PS2 controller. She is wearing an angry grimacing face. Lance watches the screen. Lance Still pissed about Athena? Jody Hmm? Who? Oh that. Nope. Forgot all about it. Oh look, hand grenades behind the Go Go Bar, What....should...I...do? SFX: Sounds of explosions, women screaming. Jody smirks. Jody THE NERVE OF HER! Kick us out?? Lance She just mentioned you. Jody snaps an angry look at Lance. Lance Uh, I would’ve left too.... Jody You know he would’ve if she pressed it. Lance Remember it’s Binge. A weak willed man, low self-esteem, and easily manipulated by a bitch with a dynamite body. Jody A what kind of body? Did I hear you say a body from a war crime photo with after market parts? Lance Yea, that’s what I meant. Jody She uses him, abuses him, manipulates, and controls him. I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to kill him yet.	Binge driving a drunk Athena home in her white Mercedes. Artwork fills the back seat. Athena Why does that frump hate me so? I never slept with her man. She keeps it up and I’ll bang every man in her life. What is her problem? Binge shakes his head. Binge She insists you're the Anti-Christ. Athena DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT MY SIXES?!? Binge Everyone could see them with that dress you have on. Athena It’s none of her business if you give me artwork, is it? You don’t mind giving me art do you? Binge You do have the largest private collection of Binge art. In your living room, bedroom, kitchen, dungeon. Athena What? Don’t you want me to have it? Binge That’s not what I said. Athena YES IT IS! You just said you hate me! (long drawn out wail) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Binge pulls the car over. Binge No baby, no. I love you. That’s why I give you my art. It’s from the deepest bowels of my heart. Athena Prove it. Binge How? Athena Give me another one. Binge As much as you want. Athena I don't care what the frump thinks! All women hate me, it's not my fault I'm so hot! That's why date so many men, I'm lonely! They all think they're better than me just because their jobs don't involve nudity! I'd love to go the mall with someone and shop for something besides lingerie. Or have lunch with someone who isn't too who isn't thinking about screwing me afterwards. Binge She needs to get to know you better. Maybe I can set up a trip to the mall. Scene: Athena’s kitchen. She is talking to the Gimp. His head is sticking out of a cupboard door. Athena Gimp! Go on that internet thingy and find art appraisers in New Jersey. Gimp You didn’t even notice that I did the floors. Athena Yes, yes. Very nice. Do what I told you. Gimp What are you planning? Athena ‘Artist’s nude body found in NY harbor’ Gimp You do love the arts. SFX: Doorbell. Binge enters with rolled up maps under his arms. Binge Here are those tidal charts of New York Harbor you wanted. Can I ask why? Athena I may be buying a yacht. I'll be getting some cash together soon. Binge Cool... Hey Gimp. Gimp Good bye Binge. Athena points her finger at Gimp. She stearnly whispers: Athena Gimp, you keep your mouth zipped about my plans. Gimp pulls the zipper closed on his hood, nods. He slips back into the cupboard, door closes. Athena Binge, I think it’s time we discussed our relationship. A look of fear comes over Binge. He collapses on the floor and starts to thrash about in a spastic tantrum. Binge NO! NO! NO! These conversations are never good! Athena (calmly) Get up. I don’t cater to ‘infantilism’. Save that for the Jerry Springer Show. Binge totally regains himself. Sits up on the floor. Binge Sorry. What do you want to talk about? Athena I think we should take our relationship to the next level. Binge Monogamy? Athena bursts into laughter. Athena For you maybe. No, I need to improve the trust issues that plague our love. Binge How? Athena I want you to put me in your will. Binge’s eyes dart side to side, trying to see her logic. Binge I have a will. I was going to leave my meager earthly possessions to my niece. Athena Children should be taught that there are no free rides in this world. That’s why you should leave it all to me. Binge I guess I follow that. Is there some sort of give and take here? Athena OH! What’s in it for you? Typical. Always thinking about yourself. Uhmmmm, I promise I’ll dress real hot for your funeral and weep uncontrollably. Binge Promise you won’t bring a date? Athena huffs. Athena You are so controlling. I promise I won’t bring a man as a date. Binge Cool! NEXT PAGE