Meet the new Boss part 1

Exterior of club: Ivan walks
out squinting in the sun, Zack
is rolling out a blue tarp as
the boots are poised over
Binge’s head.

Black Ivan
STOP! No stomping.

Soldiers look confused.

Black Ivan
You artist, go inside!

Ivan points to Zack.

Black Ivan
Cabbie, go home!

Look of hurt crosses
Zack’s face. He hurriedly
rolls up tarp.
Binge scurries into club.
Ivan walks toward his men.

Black Ivan
We have an old proverb in Russia, Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer...

Thug 1
I thought that was a Ukrainian saying...

Thug 2
Niet, it old Czech proverb, Keep your enemies close, your in laws farther.....

Binge stumbles thru the dark
back room of the club. He turns
to kitchen help holding a tub of
glasses.

Pablo
BINGE!

Binge
Paaaaaaaaaaaaabloooooo! Howz it goin? What’s new??

Pablo
I heard you two broke up again. I’m so happy for you.

Binge
Actually, I was going to go in and see if I can get things happening again.

Pablo
Oh. I’m sorry.

Binge
Well thanks Pablo. There’s nothing anyone can do. Unfortunately I love her.

Binge walks back out
to rear of club. Ivan and
his three thugs are talking.

Thug 3
No, no, the Polish proverb is keep your friends close, and invite your enemies over for dinner and to bang your wife.....

Ivan
LOOK! It is keep your enemies CLOSER!

Ivan sees Binge

Ivan
Artist! We were just talking about you...

Binge
I heard, something about me banging your wife?

Ivan’s face turns red,
veins pop in his forehead.
Thru gritted teeth.

Ivan
Niet. At first I wanted to kill you, but after thinking about how much courage and....and...

Thug 3
Stupidity?

Ivan
Fearlessness, you showed when you attacked me. I decided to offer you a job in my orginization.

Binge, thug 1,2, & 3 respond
in unison.

Unison
HUH?!

Ivan
I need a man with no sense. (pause) Of fear I mean.
Come back tomorrow about eleven AM.

Binge
Two in the afternoon works a whole lot better for me...

Ivan’s face turns red,
veins pop in his forehead.
Thru gritted teeth.

Ivan
OK! Two!

Scene: Athena’s dressing room.
Mayor Beard is in stocks, facing
viewer, his pants around his ankles.
Athena is standing next to him
dressed as a school teacher, with
a yard stick.

Athena
Do you know what I do to naughty little boys who peek into the girl’s bathroom?

Mayor Beard
(gagged) Hmmmm,mmm-mmph!

Dressing room door opens,
Binge enters pushing a metal
shopping cart, He stops to talk
to Athena in front of Mayor.

Binge
Hey babe, I’ll just be a minute.

Athena
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? Never come in here without knocking!

Binge
Sorry hun, Hey Mayor Beard! Howzit going?

Athena
What do you want?

As Binge turns with shopping
cart, it strikes the mayor’s
face. Mayor Beard cringes.
Binge pushes cart toward
the nuke.

Binge
Oh, Ivan wants me to get this out of here. He said it was pissing you off.

Athena
He asked YOU to move that?

Binge
Yea, he hired me as a gopher. I hope to work my way up to hit man.

Binge picks up the nuke,
drops it into the metal cart
with a loud crash.

Athena
BE CAREFULL!

Binge
Ok, now might be a good time to point out how totally cool I am with your career....

Athena
Get out.

Binge
Ok, going, going...

Back out past Mayor Beard.
Stops and leans over to
talk to the Mayor.

Binge
By the way, I like the new benches downtown.

Athena
GET OUT!

Binge leaves, Athena
slams door in anger.

Athena
Where were we Simon? Oh yea, naughty little boy.....

Offscreen, the sound of
the metal wheels on the cart
clatter. The sounds increases
in speed.

Binge
(offscreen)
LOOK OUT!

Loud rattle, crash sound,
car alarm

Binge
(offscreen)
SORRY! Sorry, who's stretched Yugo is that? (pause) Ivan's?

Athena starts to wack the
Mayor’s butt with the
yardstick
SFX: Wack

Athena
Why did I get him a job here?

SFX: Wack
Athena wacks Mayor Beard

Athena
WHY?

SFX: Wack

Athena
WHY?

SFX: Wack

Athena
WHY?

SFX: Louder Wack

Athena
WHY?

SFX: Very loud Wack
Mayor Beard’s eyes cross.

Binge walks through the kitchen,
into Athena’s dressing room.
As he enters the riding crop she
used on Ivan cuts thru the air.
Binge starts to dodge the crop with
Matrix like moves. Alena keeps whipping
it back and forth franticly. Each swipe
misses Binge as he moves like Neo.

She stops, Binge straightens up with a
smug expression of having won. Athena
promptly kicks Binge in the groin. Binge
collaspes into a knot like fetal position
on the floor. Look of agony.

Binge
WHA?! Hey, hey, what did I do?

Athena
What are you doing here? I thought I told you never to come by since we broke up.

Binge
Zack dragged me here as a hostage, next thing I knew I had a Brahishnikov up my ass.

Athena
Do you have any idea of what Black Ivan is?

Binge
Up until a few minutes ago I thought it was a drink with Vodka.

Athena
He is an Ex KGB agent and one of the most powerful mobsters in the world. He just took over New Jersey. He is known for being one of the most ruthless men in the world. Why did you attack him?

Binge
He was talking crap about you...

Athena
So you hit him with a hundred and seventy five pounds of artist? How incredibly romantic, and friggin stupid! What did he say to trip you?

Binge
I can’t remember.

Athena
Tell me.

Athena raises her hand
to smack Binge.

Binge
Something about you being good on your knees.

Athena
Ohhhhhhhh! Oooooh he is going to pay! Tonight I am going to strap on Big Ben, bend him over and.....

Binge
THEEN! Stop it! When you talk about what you do with other guys it just drives me nuts!

Binge starts to turn red.

Binge
I just want...to...urrrrrgh!

In a fit of rage, Binge starts
to kick the side of the nuclear
warhead in the corner.

Athena
BINGE! STOP IT!

Binge
Sorry. I’ll admit that sometimes your career bothers me just a little. Tiny bit. Slightly. Occasional.

Athena
That’s why we can’t see each other anymore, my profession is to sexually abuse wealthy men. You're not sexually mature enough to handle that.

Binge
It’s one thing to watch your videos. Then you start asking me to drive these guys to the emergency room because you just had a “really bad day at work” That’s a little bit much. I know you could do so much more with your life.

Athena
What do you think I am better qualified for?

Both have blank stares

Binge
Gym teacher?

Athena
Go outside and talk to Ivan.

Binge
Huh? I was going to go running out the front door screaming like a girl. Why do you want me to go see him.

Athena
Just do it. Binge, treat him with respect. I used every bit of manipulation and control to save your life once. Next time I may not be there.

Binge
I knew you still cared.

Athena
Now leave before I kick you in the other nut.

Binge
Right, ok.