Binge is walking up his street and turns onto his driveway. Halfway up the driveway he hears something and stops. Binge squints into the darkness and sees two shadows on Sugar’s patio. In the dark he hears a deviant laugh. Curiously Binge walks toward the figure in the dark.
Sugar is passed out cold on the picnic table surrounded by wine bottles. Her date Mr. Stickle (Mr Sticky) is standing by her feet. Sticky is tugging at her pant cuffs while breathing heavily. Sugar’s body rocks on the table as he tries to pull her pants off. Binge steps closer.

Binge
Hey, what are you doing man?

Mr. Sticky looks up startled and guilty. Binge looks at Sugar.

Binge
Sugar? Sugar...SUGAR! Are you ok?

No response from her, she is out cold.

Binge turns to Mr. Sticky
What the frog are you doing?

Mr. Sticky
GO AWAY! You're ruining the mood...

Binge
She’s out cold! Are you trying to have sex with my unconscious landlady?

Mr. Sticky
No, no, she’s just relaxing.

Binge
SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS YOU SICK FROG! Leave her alone.

Mr. Sticky
Before she passed out she said she was really horny and needed to be done...

Binge
Get out off here before I call the the cops.

Mr. Sticky
Come on, don’t be like that. I’ll let you have sloppy seconds.

Binge
MY GOD! You sick bastard!

Mr. Sticky
Ok, ok. I’ll let you go first, but I get to watch.

Binge picks up a long bar-b-q
fork from the grill, points it at Mr. Sticky.

Binge
BACK OFF PERV!

Mr. Sticky
Let me just play with her boobies...

As Mr. Sticky reaches for Sugar’s chest, Binge spears him in the hand. Sticky backs off.

Mr. Sticky
WHAT ARE YOU? QUEER?

Binge jabs Mr. Sticky in his nipple with the fork.

Binge
BEAT IT AND GO HOME AND BEAT IT!

Mr Sticky slowly sulks off into the darkness
as an enraged Binge menaces with the cooking utensil.
Binge looks down at a near lifeless landlady.

Binge
Sugar, Sugar, Sugar. You can’t mix wine with Tequila, and muscle relaxants, and weed, and Zanax, and Ruffies. Come on, let me get you inside before Chubby comes back with his chubby.

Binge looks toward the street, Mr. Sticky’s shadow
is pacing under a street light. Binge huffs as he lifts
Sugar up onto his shoulder. He loses his grip, she
drops head first behind him into a rose bush.

SEFX: A shrub being crushed, dull thud.

Binge
Sorry.

Cut to him dragging her by the ankles up her
back steps into her kitchen.

SEFX: Dead weight thumpig up steps.

Out of breath in
her kitchen, Binge looks down at Sugar on the
floor. Her arms and hair are above her head
from being dragged. Bits of the rose bush ar
stuck in her hair, both boobs are pointing to
either side. Out of breath Binge searches his pockets.

Binge
(pant) Can’t...(pant) breathe... (pant) need...(pant) menthol...(pant)

Out of breath he lights a cigarette. Coughs.
As he turns to leave, he double takes at her
refrigerator. Opens it, and grabs a beer. Close
fridge door, double takes. Opens it again,
grabs some food and closes door. Steps
toward the back door, stops and looks at Sugar.

Binge returns to the refrigerator, opens it and
pulls out a squeeze bottle of ketchup.
Binge has a devious look as he kneels next
to Sugar.

SEFX: Squeeze bottle ketchup. Wet, squishy fart sound.

Binge squeezes out ketchup on her face.
He draws glasses, a mustache and a scar on her face.
As he exits, he locks the door. The next morning
Binge is in his apartment cleaning a paint brush on
his t-shirt. A loud angry banging on his front door.
Binge sighs and opens it.

SEFX: Angry hand knocking on a wooden door, creaky door opening.

A VERY hungover looking
Sugar is standing there. Freshly showered and still in her bathrobe.

Sugar
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?

Binge
Uhm, it’s like July...

Sugar
THE TWELFTH! The twelfth of August! Eleven days past the first, when the rent is due!

Binge
Oh, yea, right, uhm, that...

Sugar
YEA THAT! What Bullcrap excuse do you have this month?

Binge
I’m still trying to KETCHUP!

Sugar goes from angry to confused and surprised
as she rubs her hand on her face searching for residual ketchup.

Fade to black.