DNA (Do Not Ask)
Lance, Jody and Binge sitting
on the couch.
Binge looks very depressed,
Lance and Jody try to ignore him
Binge
(mournful sigh)
Lance and Jody look at each other. Remain silent
Binge
(long mournful sigh)
Jody looks to Lance, she slightly nods “no”
Binge
(drawn out groan)
Lance and Jody look away from Binge.
Binge buries his head in his hands and
starts to sob uncontrollably.
Lance
OK OK! what’s bothering you?
Binge
Nuthin. (long drawn out wail)
Jody
OK WHAT?
Binge
Well, I kind of think Athena might be cheating on me again.
Lance and Jody snicker
try to hold a straight face.
Lance
Oh no, really?
Jody
She promised the last fourteen times you caught her she wouldn’t
do it again.
Lance
I mean really, an internet Dominatrix wouldn’t break her promise
to you would she?
Binge
I want to give her the benefit of a doubt, but I found proof.
Lance
Did you see her having live sex with two guys on her web site again?
Jody
Wasn’t that the time you subscribed to her web site using Lance’s
credit card subcribe to your girlfriend’s porn site without his knowledge.
Remember?
Binge
No, I didn't see anything that circumstantial.
Jody
(snort) Circumstantial!
Lance
Well, what kind of evaidence do you hav...
Jody
DON’T ASK. You know we’ll regret it.
Lance
I have to ask, he’s my friend. What kind of evidence?
Binge
DNA evidence.
Jody
Gawd! See why I told you not to ask.
Jody gets up and exits.
Lance
Well, where was it? On the bed sheets or her dress or something?
Binge
Kitchen ceiling.
Jody off screen
Damn you Lance! EWWW!
Lance
Did you confront Athena about it?
Binge
Of course I did! I’m not some pathetic wuss!
Jody offscreen
HA!
Cut to Athena’s kitchen,
Binge and Athena are in the
middle of a very heated argument.
Athena
I am sick and tired of your suspicious and jealous fits of rage! How dare
you accuse me of screwing around! I keep telling you that I love you and
you're the only one I have sex with! What proof do you have?
Binge points to ceiling
Athena looks up, her eyes pop and jaw drops.
Athena
THAT! You call a glob of semen on the ceiling proof?
Binge
IT’S NOT?!
Athena
DUUUUUUUUUH! It’s yours!
Binge
I think I would remember putting it there if it was!
Athena
I am not even going to dignify that with an answer!
Fade to black