Binge walks out of the Liquor Right liquor
store and into the Sunup Sundown
convenience store. He roams the store
and places a large container of baby oil,
candles, and a cucumber onto the counter.
Jem the clerk greets him.

Jem
Binge, Hallo buddy! How are you today?

Binge
Great, I’m heading over to Athena’s for a night of romance.

Jem
Last week didn’t you swear to your Christian God that you would never see the Lady of leather ever again? And if you did, may he take your life on the spot and cast you into the very depths of hell where you should burn for eternity?

Binge
Yea, well, but she called me up an hour ago and said she was horny.

Jem
Oh, I so sorry to hear that.

Binge
Don’t start. There’s a very real and sweet girl behind all of that leather, and make up, and silicone.

Jem
I did not mean to offend the woman that you and hundreds of other men love. What can I get you?

Binge pulls out a list

Binge
Two bottles of “Night Numb” cold syrup, extra cough formula, a box of 36 “Golden Rod” condoms....

Jem
Didn’t you just buy her a box of 36 last week?

Binge
Uhm, yea, I thought we only used three of them. Hmmmph. Four packs of Paramount one hundreds and six “D” cell batteries. (pause) It’s for her flashlight.

Jem
Ok. That’s eighty seven, twenty-four.

Binge
Damn! That’s more than I made last week from selling my artwork.

Jem
Binge, may I tell you a story from my village in a non descipt middle eastern country of origin?

Binge
It’s not going to be one with a moral is it?

Jem
Maybe.

Binge
Damn, ok.

Jem
My village was at the bottom of a very tall mountain. Legend has it that at the top lived a very evil woman, evil like a witch. But she was also very beautiful, like a super model you know?

Binge
Ok, I see where this is going.

Jem
Anyway, every year after harvest she would come down from the mountain at night and seduce the town simpleton. He would carry up the mountain all of his food and provisions for the winter. She would make love to him until he died. Then she kept his food for herself over the winter. The next harvest time she would come back down from the mountain to seduce the next simpleton and do it again. Binge, do you understand the meaning of the story?

Binge
Hmm, yea I do. Even stupid guys can get hot chicks. Thanks Jem.

Binge exits with bags.

At Athena’s door, it opens and
she looks very sexy. Inside she
rummages thru the bags.

Athena
Only four packs of cigarettes? I told you to get me a carton, god you are such a simpleton!

Binge looks at viewers and frowns.

Fade to black