A bored Binge is seated at a
wobbly card table strewn
with clutter. His artwork hap-hazzardly
displayed about his yard.
Lance and Jody’s car pulls up, they both get out.
A very old dog trials behind them from the car.

Jody
Hiya Binge! Oh, I see that you are having a yardsale.

Lance
Yea, buddy. Why didn’t you tell us?

Lance picks up a circular saw, examines it.

Binge
(mumbling) well... I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come by or anything...

Jody
OH, you know we NEVER miss your yardsales...

Lance also picks up a
power drill from the table.

Lance
AND THIS IS MINE...

Jody picks up a toaster.

Jody
I TOLD YOU HE HAD IT!

Binge squirms as the pile
other goods into their arms.
Both stop and look at a styrofoam cooler.
Scrawled on the side in felt marker:
HUMAN KIDNEY $500

Jody
Oh...my...god!

Lance
DUDE! I told you not to go thru with that idea! Now what if no-one buys it?

Binge
It’s ok, I haven’t stitched everything back up yet.

From the back: Binge’s white T shirt
is soaked with blood.
Jody looks over at a painting crudely
nailed to a utility pole.

Jody
Binge, is that anyway to sell your artwork?

Binge
It’s more dignified than E-Bay.

As they talk, the old dog
pokes it’s nose into the kidney cooler.

Lance
So have you sold anything yet?

Binge
Just Sugar’s mailbox.

By her sidewalk is an empty
post with rusty screws dangle.

Jody
Let’s rephrase that, have you sold anything yet that belongs to YOU?

Binge
Hmmmmmm? Nope.

Offscreen a gagging dog is heard.

Jody
She’s swallowed her tongue again, Lance help her...

All look over to the dog standing next to the open cooler.
The cooler is empty except for bloody ice water.
The dog gags some more.

Lance
Oh damn.

Jody
BAD DOG! BAD DOG!

Dog makes a hacking noise.
A splash is heard.

Jody
Oh good, she threw up Binge’s kidney.

Lance
EW! EW! SHE’S EATING IT AGAIN!

Jody
STOP HER!Lance tugs on her collar.

Lance
Come on girl, drop Binge’s kidney...

Binge
Oh yea, like I want it back now.

Dog burps.

Jody
GREAT! I know she’s going to get diarreha now!

Binge
Where’s my $500?

Lance
What?!

Binge
Do to your negligence, your dog ate one of my internal organs.

Jody
UHG! She’ll be crapping for days!

Lance
I’m not paying you...

Binge
You just fed my body part to your dog.

Lance
It was an accident...

Binge
Well fine. I’ll just carve out the other one now.Jody
Give it to him.

Lance
Honeeeeey, you know that is my Jet-Ski down payment money.Jody
Yea, a jet-ski you’ll never use. Give him the money.

A pissed looking Lance digs thru his pocket.
Hands it to Binge with a sneer. The money
is intercepted by the hand of Sugar the landlady.

Sugar
Well, that’s about a third of it.

Binge
Come on. Well, can I leave now?

Lance and Jody load up arms with their stuff.

Sugar
WHERE’S MY MAILBOX?

Binge
Buffet Bob clipped it with his bus and kept going. I saw the whole thing happen. He was eating chicken wings at the time of impact. I’ll swear to it in court.

Sugar
Sounds like him.

Lance
Will you be by later?

Binge
Uh, yea. I need to borrow your coffee maker.

Lance and Jody drive off as Sugar goes inside.
A very pale Binge stands, turns, walks a few steps and collapses.